Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Polishing off the Soapbox

September 18, 2008

SO, I've been "blogging" at my myspace page, but I'm kinda over myspace. I like it because I can make it all pretty and pink with dots and crap, but other than that, and being able to tell the world with a smiley face what mood I'm in, its not doing anything for me. I want to blog, to spew my opinion out into the world in order to amuse, enlighten, entertain, and annoy other humans. And so, here I am. A long time ago I actually had another blog site called soapbox_diva. It got hosed. But thanks to google, I got my moniker back. and we'll just start with my running blog of random thoughts from myspace...and we'll go from there. I will update whenever I am struck with random, profound, silly, or any other kind of thoughts that I can articulate in a remotely proper grammatical fashion. (I don't get much sleep so grammar is not high on my list lately. But ranting, venting, bitching, kavetching, and emoting are all high on my list all the time)

random thoughts - updated almost daily

**so I was taking a bath and I had the TV in my bathroom (yes I have a TV in my bathroom and yes I have issues) was tuned to Big Brother. I am a fan of a lot of "reality" TV but I swear Big Brother is like watching freakin' paint dry!! Especially if you're just listening to it. It was like being in the 5th grade when none of the losers in class could read and I was like 2 pages ahead of them, or having to painfully listen as they sounded out the f'ing words. and some lady used the word "new-cu-ler" instead of "nuclear".

more random thoughts to come.

**the people who wrote the jingle/song for free credit report dot com are brilliant geniuses...EVIL, but brilliant! did I give you the song curse when you read that? =)

**CUMIN - as in the spice. do you say kyoo-men, or koo-men? what about coupon? route?

there's an offramp in San Luis called "Curbaril". it hurts my brain for hours after I drive past it. issues much?



**so I'm watching the Janice Dickinson show. why? Idanno. But that's not the point. Janice Janice Janice...your ears are going to be on top of your head soon! Her face looks so tight it looks like it will split open if she laughs. Luckily she rarely even smiles. PS too much plastic surgery!!


**I do not like it at all when people, Italian or not, over pronounce Italian words. Like ricotta. the guy on food tv just says RiGOTta. rigotta. ugh.

and another guy on the food network, Guy Fieri, pronounces his name Guy Fieti. Its the R action that gets kind of rolled in Italian but its harder than a rolled r. I get it, but its annoying. its an R, Guy. None of my business, not my name, but annoying all the same.

and while we're on annoying:

** John Mayer. I had a big musical crush on him for awhile but now his lyrics are so stupid to me. for example:
Belief

Is there anyone who
Ever remembers changing there mind from
The paint on a sign?

Is there anyone who really recalls
Ever breaking rank at all
For something someone yelled real loud one time

Everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be
Everyone believes
And they're not going easily

Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching under water
You never can hit who you're trying for

Some need the exhibition
And some have to know they tried
It's the chemical weapon
For the war that's raging on inside

Everyone believes
From emptiness to everything
Everyone believes
And no ones going quietly

We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for

What puts a hundred thousand children in the sand
Belief can
Belief can
What puts the folded flag inside his mother's hand
Belief can
Belief can


I'm sorry, but John, if we aren't fighting for our beliefs, what exactly are we fighting for? priciples? what are principles based on? beliefs!! beliefs are the freakin' reason we have a free country!!! Take home message on this song is that if you believe something, you should keep it to yourself because no one can change anyone else's beliefs. Historical buff much, John?
And if I believe that I can change other people's beliefs, then your song is not going to change my mind to thinking I can not change people's beliefs. So you might as well be singing in a sound proof room on a deserted island. What the hell is the point? shouldn't songwriting be an artform? shouldn't it reach out to people and affect them? you're saying nothing you or anyone else says will change anything? how sad and hopeless.
stupid.

another example:
Waiting on the World to Change

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

-- John, John, John. what sad friends you must have. If you and your friends want the world to change you have to BE the change. sitting around and waiting for things to change has historically accomplished a big fat nothing. This song is the perfect motto for a lazy generation. Yeah, we think things are jacked up but we can't do anything about it, and we don't want to put ourselves out too much, so we'll just wait. If you are against the war, theoretically, you could protest...hold signs, march on washington, etc. But since nothing you say will change the beliefs of anyone else, that would be pretty pointless huh?

No wonder your relationships with Jen Aniston and Jessica Simpson didn't work out...you're probably a depressing freaking person to be around.

Your hopelessness is pathetic. Take a Heath Ledger cocktail. doh. sorry that slipped out. But since nothing I believe will change anything, no harm done, eh?

I bet he subscribes to the watchmakers theory too. well he'll be waiting for a long long time for the watch to put itself together or for the world to change. Lazy ass cocky egotistical punk.

I am NOT in a bad mood. What makes you say that? LOL
***

just watched a "Liberty Bail Bonds" commercial. wow, either people really are stupid or people who make these commercials think we are all really stupid. I know the answer there, but it is sad to admit it.
I, however, found it ridiculous. First of all, there is a lady talking about how "Dan" or whatever his name is..Dan's arrest came "out of the blue". really? you didn't know he had 87 parking tickets and a bench warrant? or he's never driven drunk before? or he'd never had an altercation with the clerk at Walmart before? or "accidentally" touched a boobie at DeJaVu before? You had no idea? well we'll suspend disbelief for a moment and assume your husband was a nice guy who was just "in the wrong place at the wrong time". She goes on about how lovely the place is and how professional they are and there was a play area for the kids etc. I'll just pause there to allow us all time to take that in. The bail bondsman office has a play area for the kids. awww. and thank goodness her sister in law (which would be her husband's sister, right? anyone else drawing the dotted line?) told her she should call Liberty Bail Bonds. I'll save syllables on how telling that is.
The commercial ends with hubby kissing her on the cheek and she smiles sweetly.
"Thank God my darling husband who never does anything wrong and remembers our anniversary and sends me flowers on my birthday didn't have to stay one more hour in that pound-me-in-the-ass jail! What would the PTA ladies say?"

really? really? I much preferred the more realistic cheesy local bail bondsman commercial that used to air here where it showed the guy having the munchies and a variety of other scenarios suggestive of his poor choices and just simply said "if you've ever done this, you might need Joe's Bailbonds". Cuz let's be honest people...sure, nice people get clinked sometimes. But "out of the blue". I doubt it. And if your sister in law has their number in her speed-dial, well lady, none of us are buyin what you're sellin'.

that's all I'm tryin to say. That's all I'm talking about. Oh yeah, I could get up on my political soapbox and then some, but I ain't gonna do it. Nope. ain't gonna. takes too much outta me.

I'm going to go have a bowl of froot loops now.
maybe they'll give me the boost of energy I need to discuss/rant politics. More likely they'll keep me going long enough to stay awake in the shower.

and so begins my blog. enjoy. comment. check back. ta-ta.

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