Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Poop is dangerous.

So last night I put both my kids in the tub together. I washed Amanda and then set to instructing Cliff on how to be something other than helpless and wash his own hair. Amanda was making some suspicious body postures so I told Cliff very firmly several times to hurry up. And then I yanked him out of the bath and told him to go tell Daddy he needed to take a shower.

"Why?" he asked

"because Amanda just pooped in the bath!"

"ew." he said, fairly calmly, as he looked at it floating around and I attempted to get Amanda out without her making contact with it.
"I don't want to get back in there..."

"no son. I am not a perfect mother but there is no way I would ever make you get back in there." LOL

so he's off to take a shower.

that's not the dangerous part.

so I bleach everything down, after scooping out the offending souvenirs, and clean the tub with a couple different things. I left the Clorox clean up setting to do its work.

cut to 3 hours later when its time for my shower. I really wanted to take a bath but there is no way I'm doing it until the memory fades and I'm sure that all remants of "the items" are long gone down the drain and can't backwash somehow! So I rinse out the cleaner etc.

I got in the tub and just about had a very bad accident. I am a dance teacher but I fall down alot. And I'm really good at falling down. I recover usually, but if I do fall its always fairly graceful. But this was ugly. This was Tom and Jerry. This was legs gone akimbo, grabbing for the curtain behind me, body parts flapping all over the place, body in 3 different planes, doing the splits the length of the tub and thank God I'm flexible, and hitting my ass on the side of the tub but somehow managing to not crack my head open or twist my knee like I had done the month before in an unrelated incident. I think I saw the bright light for a second and a glimmer of my childhood flashed before me before I stabilized myself.

All because of a turd. I almost died because of a turd. Poop almost killed me.

I need a hug.

1 comment:

  1. oh no!

    i'm so glad that you're okay.

    [just so you know, this could have just as easily happened to me. you are not alone.]