Friday, March 6, 2009

Medical Irony

Have you ever noticed that many medicines that are supposed to fix a problem have a side effect that is the same as what you are trying to get rid of? I am not exaggerating on these:
anxiety/antidepressants: may cause irritability and anxiety
I once had some medication for either a bladder infection or a yeast infection and the side effect was "pain when urinating".
My current antibiotic for my sinus infection warns: may cause headache (and does it ever!), and dizziness, which my sinus infection already did!
gastrointestinal meds: may cause stomach upset
there's a host of others but those are just off the top of my head

I am very thankful for modern medicine but sheesh.

WARNING - reading this blog may cause:

sweating
loss of breath
dizziness
bad breath
brain fog
hairy palms
pupil dilation
vaginal discharge
foot cramps
increased libido
decreased libido
chronic cough
temporary cough
cravings for dairy foods
allergies to nuts
attraction to small mammals
attraction to Colin Ferrell
desire to smell gasoline
backache
spontaneous appearance of tattoos
rash
rhinoplasty
extreme thirst
heart palpitations
stomach upset
burping
farting
laughing
excessive use of hair conditioner
overuse of lotion
dry itchy patches
psoriasis
dandruff
incredulity
grammatical anxiety
annoyance
sudden humming of songs from "paint your wagon"
obsessive compulsive hand gestures for "itsy bitsy spider"
hair loss
acne
abnormal fingernail growth
cavities
cuteness
pinkeye
headache
runny nose
stuffy nose
pica
pyromania
belly button lint
joint swelling
thinning of the blood
unnatural pubic hair growth
moles

and others...




oh and P.S. I'm at peace with the Kindergarten Gods now.

2 comments:

  1. So true. This is hilarious. You forgot to add "this blog may cause joy to those who are so happy to be reconnecting with their old high school chums."

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  2. I'm just glad to now know the source for my hairy palms and excessive need for lotion and hair conditioner. I thought it was annoying, but now I know it's just from your blog! THANKS A LOT!

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