Monday, August 31, 2009

Fly By Post

Week 2 of Kindergarten. All is going well. Cliff was greeted enthusiastically at the gate by a darling little girl named Kaitlyn today. Then they waited for Audrey. And on the way out he said goodbye to Alyssa. And then we talked about Bailey. She's blonde and smiles at him...alot. And she has a cute smile and he likes it.

He did greet 2 boys so far. LOL

Been too busy to write much more. Children driving me in.sane. Dogs also. Patio finished. Looks nice. Before and after photos soon...when I have a few more minutes.

Just wanted to post that we are alive and I haven't hurt or maimed anyone so no need to send the Police to look for me or anything.

Must go shut damn dog up and move plant I just purchased, which is now in shock, to shade. I am not good with plants and Henry and my mother both give me enormous amounts of crap when I buy them. This is just a coleus. They are terrifically hearty but the snails devoured my last batch. The first batch did great and I forget what happened...froze during winter maybe. Then snails ate batch 2. Now on batch 3 and one big pot looks fantastic, the other is all wilty and pathetic. I know its shock. But I have to rectify it so I don't have to hear it from the plant woman/my mother. =)

stoooopid dog. She's lost her flipping mind!!

more soon!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Cafeteria Lady - and other spooky campfire stories...

Just FYI, as I type this, cliff is laughing hysterically and saying "Jump Mandy! Jump!" then "hahahahahahaahHA!" "ooooh!" "Jump mandy! jump!"

I should be concerned and get up, but I'm too mentally exhausted from dealing with stupid people.

So we're on Day 2 of Kindergarten. We're all OK so far. I'm extremely frustrated and in shock at how this "system" works.

Day one was great. The teacher was nice. I got a packet of information from her about drop off/pickup/lunch. It contained almost everything I needed to know that I could have gotten at an orientation and it would have been super duper nice to have had that hand out before the first day of school.

The kids are dropped off and picked up in the cafeteria, regardless of whether they eat or not. But no one knew that on the first day so all the Kindergarteners gathered at the door of assigned room. Cliff did great! No tears! He was awesome.

When I picked him up they were parading to the cafeteria. I was so excited to see him. I had instructed him that morning that I wanted every detail of his day, to which he replied "I can't remember ALL of it mom" (and it hadn't even happened yet!). So as instructed, he told me as much as he could remember about his day. It sounded pretty good.

Today I dropped him off in the cafeteria and hung around. I had packed him a combination breakfast lunch figuring, if he has to wait around in the cafeteria regardless, he may as well have something available to snack on while he waits. So I tried to get him settled at the Kindergarten table where all his friends were eating the school breakfast. Cliff was all confused about what to eat and I explained to him that he could eat his yogurt from his lunchbox and whatever else he wanted out of there. He's not an eater at all so its just a bunch of snacks: grapes, granola bar, yogurt, capri sun, chips, etc etc. So he ate his yogurt and his doritos (yuk) and the janitor lady teased him about eating his lunch for breakfast. I bit my tongue. I followed them when they were escorted to the classroom and watched him play on the Kindergarten playground until they went inside. Some other janitor lady and 2 6th grade-ish girls were the assigned supervision for the kindergarten playground. yes, you read that right. The 2 girls were playing ON the equipment. One of them said "crap". Its not as though I'm a prude and my kid never hears bad words but he doesn't need to hear it from them on the Kindergarten playground! strike 453 against Nichols. OK, maybe its about strike 4. Oh yes, I AM keeping score.

So when I picked him up today, he was at the table in the cafeteria looking forlorn and confused, with a hot lunch in front of him. It was gross first of all, and I had to pay for it second of all, and he had a friggin lunch in his backpack, lastly. He was confused so it was no biggie. So I inquire how does this work since we have to pay for this now...so the teacher, who is equally as overwhelmed and confused, says she'll introduce me to the cafeteria lady.

The cafeteria lady, who looks as though she's just been paroled from Corcoran Women's Prison, asks me if I got "the form". I said "I got the reduced fees/free lunch form. Is there a 'regular' form?" She just stared at me. "I don't qualify for reduced fee lunches. how does this work? I don't have a buck on me right now. Do you keep my kid until I pay, or does the office bill me each month or what?" She just looked and me and stammered about 'the form' some more. She continued to tell me that from today's lunch he's "in the system" (God help us, he's IN the SYSTEM!) and we'll be charged now. Ok, how? Again, does Guido hold my child until I pay or is there a billing format? blank stare. Ok thanks, I'll fill out the form...buh-bye.

About that time the Corcoran Women's prison cafeteria lady (CWPCL) handed some other mother her ass for taking 2 milks and the mom specifically said "Hi, I have 2 milks here, can you bill them on my kids accounts?" (or something to that effect perhaps less articulate, but it was clear even to me.) and the cafeteria lady just flipped the hell out about the milk. Mom who got her ass handed to her was blocking my exit so I was a captive audience. Then CWPCL yelled at a girl who was attempting to leave the choatic scene with a tray full of food. geez. Seriously, I believe everything everyone told me about the public school system after this 5 minute "conversation". I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

So on the way out of the mess, I forgot to sign Cliff out. More on that in a minute.

I sat him down on a bench and explained to him that he will be bringing his breakfast AND his lunch forever and to never get in that line with the crazy cafeteria lady again. Did he understand? He said yes, but his other questions indicated confusion. So we rehearsed. "Ok I'll pretend I'm Mrs. Zachery." "OK!"
"OK children, raise your hand if you are buying a hot lunch today" he started to raise his hand and I shook my head. he smiled and put it down. "Raise your hand if you have a cold lunch, a sack lunch, a boxed lunch, if you brought your lunch" (I tried to think of every possible phrasing for this). He stared at me and I nodded and smiled. So he raised his hand. We repeated this exercise until we both felt like he got it.

So before the hand raising exercise, a well meaning mom overheard our conversation and asked me "did you fill out the form?" "No" I replied "I don't think i qualify for the reduced fee lunches and all that" "Oh", she said "Do you get WIC?" (that's a gov't subsidized food program for "women, infants and children" for those of you not in California or not aware) I silently signed and said "No, no I don't get WIC" She continued. "Well my husband makes $18 and hour and we get WIC and I've never paid for school lunches" "Oh really?" I said, "OK, good to know, thanks! I'll fill out that form"

I have no intention of filling out their effing form and disclosing my effing income that does not effing qualify...and there's nice neat little chart right on the form that says what your income has to be in order to qualify. Pretty sure I can figure it out.

So am I the ONLY parent who has EVER gone through this school who does NOT qualify for government assistance?!?! Puh-lease people!? this is so insane!!!!

So I got home and realized that I forgot to sign him out after that cafeteria chaos. I called the office and said "blah blah blah, son...kindergarten...forgot to sign him out, blah blah" she chuckled a pleasant church lady laugh and said "Oh that's fine, as long as you have him".

I SO wanted to say "Oh I do have him alright. you don't know WHO *I* am, and I'm going to bake him in a pie right now. Thanks!!"

Then I sat down, exasperated and frustrated, and called a magnet school in the neighborhood that has a waiting list a mile long. They don't take any inter-district transfers, the VERY nice lady on the phone said, "because we're a magnet school". I wanted to cry and wail: "But you sound so nice, and pleasant, and possibly intelligent, and my former 6th grade teacher teaches kindergarten there, and there's an afterschool arts program! PLEASE please PLEASE!!!!" But I just whined and said thanks and she apologized and we hung up.

So then I called a private church school who has a preschool up through middle school I think. For Amanda to go there for two HALF days a week, its $426 a month. She is doing two half days now for $152/month!!!!! HOLY CRAP. I didn't even bother to ask what their tuition for elementary school is, or if they use Jesus as a tool to instill shame and manipulate the children (as the last Christian private school did: "Your behavior is making Jesus sad".)

I just about threw the phone across the room. I handed it to Amanda instead, which accomplishes the same end goal. See? I am not allowed to leave this situation. I am stuck here...for some reason. for some MADDENING reason!!!!

I guess if things stay this effed up long enough, I will qualify for free school lunches and they will wear me down to the point of insanity and I will be as stupid as the people that work there and then it won't be frustrating anymore. Where's my "mediocre mom" cape?

Don't other people who are like minded to myself (and by that I mean reasonably intelligent, reasonably sophisticated people...not crazy people) use the public schools? Certainly not all of them can afford private school? are they ALL lucky enough to be in a good district? Am I really all alone here? It sure feels like it.

Well, I'm gonna go fill out "the form" now. (No, not REALLY!)

TA-TA!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Now if we could have met her, I would actually shut up...

So I've called Nichols like 10 times since enrollment. Each time, they told me they'd post classes on August 21st. I assumed it would be during the day. Ooooh but I'd assume wrong! Because most of MY assumptions are based on reasonable actions on the part of the school. stupid kelly! I went with Cliff this morning and no, the classes are not posted until after 5pm. What? really? Am I on candid effing camera? Cuz this is really just silly at this point. Stupid. Ridiculous. Outrageous. All my other friends are facebooking and blogging about Kindergarten orientation. We get Mystery Teacher Behind Door Number X.

Anyway, I went back this EVENING and he is AM Kindergarten and has Mrs. Zachary. I am posting her name because I am sure all of my poor readers will be hearing something about her, and probably frequently, in the future.

I have no idea where to pick him up. Do I go in the classroom? Do I hover outside? I have no idea how the cafeteria works. Do I send him with money? Nothing gets mailed to us to inform us of anything. Do these people get their training from the EDD?

I'm sure that looking back on this at some point, I will go "Man, I was alllll nutted up over nothing". But I'm not there yet. I feel like the one salmon swimming up a stream of logic.

My mom, I'm sure after 36 years of becoming exhausted while watching me battle the world, keeps trying to down play it and say it'll be fine, it's fine, we didn't have orientations when you guys were little, Cliff will be fine. yes, he'll be fine, but that's not the point. Its the principle. its always the principle with me. My boxing gloves are on, man. I think this kind of NON information and NON communication with the parents is inexcusable and totally unnecessary and frankly, just plain lazy on the part of the school. I'm sure she is very tired of seeing that wild look in my eye and hearing the exasperation in my voice. She probably wishes that I were way more chillaxed about the whole thing. But then, I wouldn't be the Soapbox Diva, now, would I? Sorry mom, ranting is my calling. I am, therefore I rant.

I just want to be prepared, as a mother, and a human. Is that so wrong? Its the crux of my life...being prepared. its why I carry a purse big enough to carry Amanda in, and why my car looks the way it looks. I have everything with me all the time. You need clippers, I have clippers. You need tape? yep. Tampons? yep. (although I haven't required one in 7 years, TMI sorry.) nasal spray, eye drops, curling ribbon, snacks, disco music, safety pins, hats, socks, baby wipes? yep! I have never run out of anything EVER. We've never been out of toothpaste, toilet paper, lotion, milk...I don't run out of things. I am an inventory management queen. The milk carton screams at me "I am at my order point now". Its the product of both my first job, my college education, and my genes. Can't be helped. So in this vein, I also want to be prepared for my baby boy. I want to know where to go and when and how it will work so I can help him. Yes its somewhat for me too, I'm not in denial about that. But again, he is a kindergartner...is it too much to ask for some advance notice and information?

Its actually a good thing that my patio project, which is moving slower than the school district, is going on to distract me somewhat from the kindergarten issue. Can you imagine if ALL of my considerable energy was devoted to JUST the kindergarten issue?

Be afraid people, be very afraid. The capricorn-aquarius-type-A-who-thinks-she's-a type-B-genetically-predisposed-to-anal-retention-german-girl-who-dyed-her-hair-red to-match-her-personality-and-who-is-a-fiercely-protective-individual has a soapbox and isn't afraid to use it!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Suspense Ends Tomorrow

Tomorrow we trek to Cliff's school to see the class postings. I'm pretty sure they changed him to AM Kindergarten, so we'll find out his teacher's name. We don't get to MEET her or see the classroom (vomit) but at least we'll get a name!

I re-did Amanda's room. I really need to get a job or something...

Anyone need anything redecorated?

Monday, August 17, 2009

God reads my blog...?

I am still chewing on this but you know how I posed the question "Am I missing something?" in the post below? Well, apparently God is reading my blog.

And when you ask God to talk to you, sometimes you get a burning bush.

Ok I didn't get a burning bush but it feels that way to me at the moment. I am discerning a great deal of information that has just been dropped on me. Its too much, too personal, too obscure to share at the moment. I am tempted to just blather on about every detail but you might not follow me or see why I'm so...wowed...and maybe its just meant for me. we'll see.

I have pretty much been "told" that it is time for me to DO something. the "something" is still blurry but coming into focus quickly and startlingly. But things I have been pulled toward and questions that I have had about very specific purposes for myself have been thrust back at me with a "yes!" and I'm terrified and thrilled and not sure what to do with myself.

So stay tuned. maybe we'll get to see this thing flesh out...

Morale - DEfunct

The deck finally got removed. It was cool. it was gross. there were some surprises. I will elaborate about the deck project later. First thing this morning we went to the school as the nameless voice last week told me to. They treated me like I was an idiot. No, you can't meet the teacher. No we don't do that. No that isn't possible. No, we won't be able to tell you anything until its posted on Friday. Thanks, buh-bye.

I did manage to change the time from PM to AM. yeah I know. After all that deliberating, I changed it. But PM worked for my previous working scenario, not so much for the stay at home scenario. yes I feel like a schizo. Oh well. I'm becoming accustomed to it. this way there is a gap in possible care for Cliff from 11ish to 230 (the after school programs start at 230, should I acquire a job and need after school care!!) I can procure full time care for Amanda and then only have to fill that 2 hour gap. and then run to get him and take him somewhere else. good lord. not the scenario I want.

I received an enlightened moment today about my unemployment benefits and well, enlightenment sucks. I've applied to a dozen great jobs and I've got zip. I've never had trouble acquiring a job. I've also never had to look for a job since we've had kids. this whole thing sucks. And now I have 8 weeks. And I can get an extension, I THINK. But how much time does that buy me? Not enough really. How long will it be before the state of California stops sucking? plllfft.

Why did the kindergarten at the school of choice not work out in conjunction with the layoff? was this ALL necessary? really? geez! how much can a person take? And this is all on top of some other heavy crap that we went through last year. Seriously, I need something to go right.

the scenario I WANT is a) for Henry to get some miraculous raise or b) for me to find a work at home job with flexible hours (like the one I HAD. I hate those bastards for screwing up my whole....THING. they screwed up my thing. my vibe. my groove.) And so yes, YES, yeeessss, NOW NOOOWWWW I am loving staying at home and it would appear that I CAN'T for much longer. I thought I had until March. No.

I'm so depressed and defeated and deflated and...demoralized. what other "de" words can I find? dejected? desperate? degraded? destroyed.destitute.descending. hey this is fun. deserted. desolate. despised. despondent. oh I like that one. deleted? demise? decorate?... decollete? no. nevermind.

I am trying to find it within myself to be DETERMINED. but at the moment, I'm not finding that adjective in there.

I ask this honestly...am I missing something? what am I supposed to be learning from this whole thing? Last year we dealt with a huge thing. All this is so...so...too much. The school thing OR the job thing would have been enough to deal with but both? (I'm referring to not getting into the school that had all day kindergarten and a rockin afterschool program. getting into said school would have made things MUCH smoother) As soon as I get some perspective or start enjoying myself or feel like I've got a handle on things, some rock gets lobbed at my head. What is God trying to tell me in all this? I'm asking but I'm not getting any faxes or anything. Any ideas? Do you guys have some perspective from the outside that I could use? I'm getting rather annoyed and frustrated to say the least.

Prayers...for the DEranged woman, please. again.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Milestones

Did I mention my book-reading injury? I never read. I hate reading. But I got sucked (haha) into the Twilight series and devoured (haha) it in like 10 days (all 4 books. no, 3 books. I didn't read the first). In the process I tweaked my neck really bad due to contorted positions to hold the "book" (which was really my iphone because I downloaded the kindle app. rockin!) This was like 3 weeks ago and my neck is STILL not right. It is a legitimate injury. it sucks.

I was thinking about all the stuff I've done to and around the house since losing my job. Let's recap:

1) discovered my fetish for cupcakes
2) refinished all my dining room furniture, very successfully I might add, with a cool finish
3) repainted my dining room a much happier color and re-accessorized with happy orange.
4) got the long-desired bookshelves for living room and paid a lovely handy man to assemble them so as not to have to hear Henry swearing at them for 3 months because with our kids and about 15 spare minutes a day, that's how long it would have taken. Money well spent. They look great in my living room and perfectly match a piece of furniture I bought at Urner's in 2004!
5) re-accessorized and re-bed-spreaded my bedroom
6) "redid" Henry's bathroom (tore out ancient ugly mirror/medicine cabinet + refinished much neglected cabinets and changed hardware=minor miracle achieved for next to nothing!)
6) organized my purses and hats!
7) donated 6 bags of clothes to the Goodwill!
8) got started on "cleaning" (using the term very loosely) the closets
9) organized many files and drawers
10) unloaded 3 large drawers of CDs and put them in a binder!!! yaaaay!!
11) re-worked backyard space (in the process actually)
12) got new dining room chairs (pretty big money, all told, and a big deal to me)

can't think of anything else at the moment. Never did get around to all the "picture" projects I have for myself, like updating the kids' memory albums (I don't scrapbook)and sending out the mini albums I bought to the relatives I bought them for, and adding the pictures to Mandy's baby book, and stuff like that.

though I DO update the baby book regularly and I keep a journal for both kids of the funny things they do and say.

Speaking of which, I just updated both kids' baby books tonight and cried. I can't believe how fast time is going by. Cliff is starting Kindergarten in just over a week!!! Its really hitting me. Oh shut up. I know I talk about it ALL the time, but the reality is hitting me...my baby boy is going to Kindergarten. I'm not sure if I can do this. I'm going to fall apart. My sweet little monster is growing up SO fast.
And Amanda is too! Man she's SO ornery! And she talks so well.

I can't believe how fast they are growing. I'm not ready for college and weddings yet! And its happening like...tomorrow! Will he call me regularly? Will they marry nice people that I can tolerate and who help during holiday dinners? Will he really be a stunt man? And if so, will he call me every time he wraps an important scene so I know he's OK? will they be able to tolerate me? will they let me see my grandchildren? Oh my God, I need to go take an Ativan! He's going to Kindergarten!!
Aaaaaaah!!!

Subject change. Cliff got the fish I promised him if he finished Taekwondo. His TKD teachers' names are Pete and Basani. So guess what the fish are named? =) cliff and I spent the day together today, just the 2 of us. It was great. Our last mom and cliff day will be next friday. Hold on...I'm gonna cry again...

breathe breathe...

And um...Henry and I met for the first time 12 years ago this weekend. We had been talking online for a month and were already totally in love, but had never met. I had barely seen ONE picture of him!!! can you freaking imagine?! It was a picture of him in front of Berkeley Square and he's wearing sunglasses. So I couldn't see his eyes, the shape of his face or anything. and he's not smiling so I couldn't see his teeth, or if he had any!! I of course, was careful to provide him with plenty of reasons to fall in love with me. or lust. whatever. Lord I would seriously pay money to look like that again. but anyway, I digress. So on August 16, 2007 he drove down here to meet me. And the rest is history. alot of history actually. What a crazy story we have...from the very start. Crazy people=crazy story. Crazy people=crazy kids. Crazy kids are growing up SO fast.
waaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

You know what? I don't care if you're sick of hearing about it!!

I'm talking about Kindergarten. Again.

Have I mentioned that Cliff's school does NOT do a practice day, or a meet the teacher day, or anything of the sort...for KINDERGARTNERS!?! AND, we don't even find out what the teacher's name is or if he's AM or PM class until Friday August 22. School starts the 24th. Hello?!! If I HAD a job and needed to line up freakin' after school or before school care, how would I go about doing that?! AND how would a person GET a job (if there were any jobs to be had!) without EFFING knowing what the schedule is?! There are other districts on this side of town that do way more than this school so its not an "East side" issue. Its just THIS SCHOOL. I am so mad. I want to call the principal and have a professionally toned conversation about how totally lacking this all is (especially the scheduling part of it!!). But I am aiming to ingratiate myself as a fixture at that school and be the most helpful, nauseating, room mother EVA this year. So I have to somehow make my "your school sucks ass" conversation the fabulous introduction of myself to the principal so I'm trying to figure out how to do that.

so lame. Kindergarten.

and I know that when its Amanda I'll be like "whatever, she can walk to school, its FINE". But i'm not there yet. And I don't think meeting the teacher and asking for some time to plan for after school/before school/mystery time block is unreasonable!!

Yes, God, I AM aware that you are trying to teach me something here. I am aware that this is me being molded yada yada, patience, tolerance, blah blah blah. And I'm sure that YOU are aware that I will not go quietly. =D Can you meet me in the middle and just place fewer stupid people and frustrating situations in my path?! please?

sigh...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dr. Blot, case file #453

It was an ordinary day: I was catching up on paperwork when the patient came into my office. I could see immediately what the problem was by the monochromatic streaky paper she held in her hand - she was out of ink. She proceeded to tell me her story - one I had heard before from so many others. She had attempted replacement but the store was out of the proper cartridge, so, desperate for color printing options, she opted for the cheaper option of a cartridge refill kit. These kits tout themselves as big money-saving miracles and tempt you with their little syringes of vivid primary colored ink. But like so many other patients I had seen in my office, things go horribly wrong when people try to refill ink cartridges at home. I had made my plea many times to our local government officials to take these dangerous and misleading products off of the shelves, but any progress was being tied up in litigation by the crooked ink-hustling bastards that market these terrible substitutes for brand name ink cartridges.

Her case was slightly complicated by the fact that she did not have a brand name cartridge to fill, she had the office depot version. I had seen this many times before, too. It was a concern, but nothing that would prevent me from continuing.

I did advise the patient, as I always do, that this procedure may not work. These refill kits are very complicated. And in the end, she may have to resort to buying the brand name anyway, essentially throwing away her $18 (which was supposed to save her about $20. But when things seem too good to be true, they usually are, so my mother always said. My mother doesn't have a printer, but how right she was.)

The patient signed the waiver and I proceeded. I placed several layers of paper towels on the kitchen counter and began the procedure. With the syringes loaded, I carefully filled all 3 of the color sections of the cartridge. There was considerable mess. The blue compartment presented the most difficulty. There was some sort of obstruction - a sort of diaphragm that seemed to be preventing me from filling it as easily as the others. But I did manage. Once the compartments were all filled I set about to cleaning the cartridge. One half of a roll of paper towels later, I inserted the cartridge into the printer for a test page. I held my breath as the printer churned out the test page, one suspenseful line at a time.

The results were not as I had hoped. With ink covered hands, I removed the bleeding cartridge and went back to work. What followed was a laborious series of shaking, prodding, poking, swearing, refilling, wiping, more wiping, more swearing. Until I was sure I had done everything I could do. The patient's cartridge had hemorrhaged ink everywhere. My kitchen counter looked like I had slaughtered Bo-Bo the Clown - there were ink splatters everywhere, and my hands, despite being shielded with gloves, told the tale of my battle.

I was pretty certain that the situation was hopeless, but I nonetheless returned to the printer with the smeared and ravaged cartridge and carefully inserted it. I selected the option for test page and cartridge cleaning and paced in front of the office.

In the end, I had to pronounce the patient's cartridge useless. My hands were stained with my effort. And entire roll of paper towels filled my garbage can to the point of overflowing. It was a rainbow nightmare. I set about to cleaning the primary colored disaster off of my counter and my hands, utilizing comet, bleach, and soft scrub. As I wiped up the various drips and splatters, I thought for one instant on a paper towel where the 3 ink colors had gruesomely commingled, that I saw the form of an inky cupcake. I didn't pause to ponder its meaning, instead, I disgustedly gathered up the remains of the refill kit and tossed it in the garbage. Some of the evidence still remained on my hands. But if my patient would tell just one friend to stay away from what appears to be the easy solution and buy the name brand cartridges, my efforts would have been worthwhile.

Please, tell your loved ones. Tell your husbands. It is tempting to save money in these troubled times, but skimping on ink cartridges is just too risky.

Tomorrow, I have a chewing-gum-ectomy to perform on Elmo. I pray it goes better.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Its a fact

Its a fact that coffee DOES have more caffeine than an equal amount of tea. I manage to have this argument about once a month with someone. I feel obligated to defend my copious tea drinking I guess. And don't get me wrong, with the amount of tea I drink, its enough to keep a horse awake. BUT its less than if I was an all-day coffee drinker. Anyway, you can google it for yourself. Or here, I did it for you. Here too


its a fact that my children are very articulate. At Mandy's 18 month appointment I had to fill out some developmental questionnaire. plffft. And then the doctor asked me equally silly questions: "is she walking well?"

hello?

"about how many words would you say she says?"

"I marked over 30 on the questioinnaire. I have lost count."

To which she said, with just a tiny bit of incredulity and condescension in her voice: "Ooooh, that's greeaaaat", as if she was thinking "oh moms are so silly".

Henry didn't believe me either! He said "30 is alot. I don't think she has THAT many"

alright fine. you want me to pull out the "mommy knows best" or the "insufferable know-it-all" card??? HERE!

Mandy's current vocabulary (July and August 2009)

bite, more, milk, water, whats that, yes, no, mama, dadda, bubba, papa, mimi, martha, baby, hot, up, poppoo, peepee, binky, eyes, nose, ears, mouth, teeth, belly button, foot, mine, elmo, spider, ball, mona, inky, meow, moo, snake, shoes, book, duck, bye bye, spongebob, yellow, green, flower, owie, eat, please, cookie, pancake, cheese, ice, apple, uh-oh, hi, fish, this, yeah, manda, thank you, all done, love you...

and in case you lost count, that was well over 50. And she constantly sings, though alot of it is gibberish, there are some other words in amongst the babble. (did you notice how many of those words were food? lol)

I'm just sayin'. Don't question me. damnit.