Tuesday, September 1, 2009


I am still waiting, deciphering, discerning, trying to make sense of things. I feel like the answers are swirling around my head but I just can't quite reach up and pluck it down.
So I'm trying, trying, trying, to just BE. "Be still and know that I am God." that is my mantra.

Here is my insight for today. I used to believe that if you were grateful enough for something, nothing bad would happen to it. Not so. Living a life of gratitude is crucial, I think, but it doesn't guarantee anything. I know, that seems like a downer but for some reason it doesn't feel downer-y to me. I think what it has taught me is what genuine gratitude feels like.

In unrelated news, we had the first Kindergarten tears this morning. Mr. Morning Person (not) cried because when the bell rang, I wasn't visible and waving like I usually am. I was buckling Amanda in the car. I saw him through my windshield and saw his shoulders and head drop and recognized immediately the body language of a crushed Cliff. So I slammed Amanda's door and ran to the fence to soothe him. His teacher said he got over it in a few minutes. This is pretty typical for him. Its not the first day that is hard when we do something new...its the next few.

In contrast, I would have cried on day one. And on every day after that. No wonder my mother was exhausted with my tears. It was daily in Kindergarten. What a mess. By today's standards they would have labeled me as something no doubt. Asperger's or something. Poor broken Kelly. And then in the 3rd grade, the real Slim Shady stood up and while she's still a cry baby, Drama Diva never looked back.

More unrelated news. I put a new piece of sculpturey art over my fireplace mantle. Why is it somehow drawing attention to all the toys on the floor? Weird. its just goofy how changing just that has changed that whole side of the room. The new piece is red and while its 3d and sculpturey it blends into the brick. And I think because the eye isn't led up to where the orangey sunset picture was, your eye stays on the floor where ToysRus is. not sure how I feel about this. It was Cliff's idea to hang it up there! He said something about fancy restaurants. LOL

1 comment:

  1. FYI Amy also cried every single day in Kindergarten. A couple of years later her teacher told me that every morning she would murmur "please don't let Amy cry today." Funny thing is I used to say the same exact thing.