Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Reappearance...

Today I kept Mandy home from her half-day daycare, which I love sending her to, although I feel guilty about the money as the funds rapidly dwindle dwindle dwindle and there is nothing career wise on the horizon for me. anyway, she was croupy last night. cliff got croup 2 years in a row, damn near ON October 1st both times. Mandy got it last time this year too. The weather changed TODAY so I'm not sure why she had it last night. she has a snotty nose and a generic cold, but this time of year the colds come with croup, for some weird, twitchy airway reason. So we were up all hours trying to get her fixed up and back to sleep. So Henry took Cliff to school AND took time out of his day to pick him up from school so that I could just chill at the house and not have to uproot everyone still in their jammies (everyone being me and Amanda) at 11:30. Half day kindergarten is friggin lame...have I mentioned that?

So we napped alot to catch up on our sleep. And by about 2 we were all good to go, even Cliff.

I made cookies, watered plants, cleaned the patio, took the kids in the front yard to PLAY and I swear, my soul came out of hibernation. Maybe its just this oppressively, wicked, awful, frickin heat that makes me feel sad and pissy. Some people get that way in the rain or the snow so why not me in the heat. I hate doing anything at all when its hot. I do not want to go outside to play, I do not want to go to the store. I hate it. hate it hate it hate it hate it!!! I remember last year one day in the "fall" (term is used loosely here) I went to the store mid day and I was practically skipping through the friggin parking lot. The crisp clean(er) air, the blue(ish) sky, the ability to fill my lungs without inhaling wildfire ashes or County Fair dust, or almond pollen...it was fantastic. My energy soared. I think the real me might reappear soon.

anyway, then I made a steak dinner, put Mandy to bed, then took a hot bath. I exfoliated my face, and scrubbed my feet, I took my vitamins, and put on my really good Vitamin C facial serum.

It was a take care of me day. And it gave me hope for the restless, hopeless, fearful, trapped feelings that I have been dwelling in...that maybe they will dissipate with the heat and I can feel ME again.

Still need financial prayers, y'all. I'm trying to not worry but...hello...I'm having to restrain myself from making charts and graphs so you know I AM worried.

and in other news, Mandy has peed in the toilet twice this week...while the bath is running. I squeaked so loud I almsot lost my voice. yay Mandy.

She has a new nickname too. In addition to: Demanda, Mandible, Monster, Kreature, Panda, MandaBear, Monkeybutt, Squirrelbutt, and maybe a couple others, she is now also "Manaconda" for the way she clings to her father as though to squeeze the life out of him and eat him.

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