Thursday, November 12, 2009

More self rediscovery crap in the form of heavy prose

Re: Water Courage
by Kelly Barker

I forgot how to swim.
They say you can’t forget how to swim,
But I did.
I was in the water
Struggling to remember
What to do with my limbs,
Fighting to breathe.
The struggle in the water
Picked up steam
As I floated helplessly down a river.
Every so often
I would flail -
Shoot out an arm in the hope…
And then I would go under again.
Eventually I stopped fighting.
I let my lungs fill with water,
And I sank.

I lived in an underwater world
Where every thing moved very slowly.
And it was very heavy.
You can not throw a punch
under water.
you can not run.
you can not sing,
or cry.
Eventually I forgot what
Living above the water was like;
I became accustomed to the
Darkness
And the loneliness.
Even though I was surrounded by
Life,
I could not communicate with them,
As I had no voice

One day I borrowed
From somewhere deep within me -
Hope.
And I looked up
To the surface.
Something was there
Something that was looking for me
It was familiar,
But forgotten
Like a dream that I was trying
To remember…
Vague.

And yet, this vague force
Was pulling on me.
Beckoning me upward.
A magnet above the surface
And a magnet below
Both quivering with their charges
And the demand of being
Reunited

I let it draw me up
And up
And up.
When I broke the water’s surface
The light was blinding
And my lungs nearly burst.
I sputtered water for what seemed
Like
Days.
It was only minutes,
But they were painful.
And I cried.
And then, tentatively,
I inhaled.
I was afraid of what would fill me.
I shook
All over.
Until my lungs were filled
With a sweet memory
Of something real
And light
And bright
And home.

I had forgotten how to
Use my legs
And my voice
and my eyes
and so many other things.
But as I remembered them,
Joy returned to my body.
My cells were unburdened and
I remembered how to sing.
And
I remembered
Myself,
All the parts of me.

One day, even after everything
That had happened,
I fearlessly
Marched into the water.
I swam
And swam
And swam
And the water felt perfect
And warm
And safe.

Something was
Holding my head above the water,
Allowing me the
Freedom
To explore with my new courage.
Something weightless,
And beautiful,
That loved me.
And taught me,
How to swim again.

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