Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Apology Etiquette

Let us review, shall we, one of my favorite soapbox issues: How to Properly Apologize.

Let's say you stepped on my foot.
I exclaim "ouch! that hurt. you stepped on my foot"

you could say

a) I'm sorry if I hurt your foot
b) I'm sorry that your foot got hurt
c) I'm sorry that you think I stepped on your foot
d) I'm sorry that I hurt your foot

Let's review these options.

a) the key word here that screws this up is "if". IF you stepped on my foot? NO. I just told you that you DID step on my foot. My foot is throbbing. The act of you stepping on my foot is factual, not something I imagined.

b) note the passive voice of this one...that your foot got hurt. This removes all responsibility from YOU and puts it out there in the universe somewhere...but not on you. Even though YOUR foot is what stepped on MY foot. passive voice is bad in an apology

c) this one should be obvious. that I THINK you stepped on my foot? no. you did. and it hurt. period.

d) ding ding ding. Plain ol' "I'm sorry" is the best choice. And if you have the balls and fully accept your responsibility for whatever happened, you can add "I'm sorry that I did such and such and hurt you".

"I'm sorry I hurt you" is the grand prize winner.

any questions? good.

Happy new year!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Bitch is Back

I'm happy to report that for the time being, I am back to my old self. This doesn't imply that the stuff that was weighing me down is gone, but I have had my time in the ring with it, made my peace with it, and am ready for the next step.

Today was SO cold. It rained pretty hard last night and so today the sky was clear and beautiful. Cliff didn't have school, obviously, but I did have daycare available for Amanda. So Cliff went with us to sign some papers at the bank and then he and I went to breakfast. It was great to just hang out with him. Look! what?! I enjoyed him? yes. alot. Then we ran home for a pee break and took a drive up into the foothills like we have many times before. Except this time Amanda wasn't with us and the idea was to actually enjoy the view and then nap when we got home. Usually the kids both fall asleep in the car, which I why I didn't take Amanda on this drive. I was saving my nap time!!

It was just beautiful. I felt the excitement and joy that I used to feel in the presence of beauty. When I drove through a drift of leaves and they ruffled out behind the car, I felt giggly. When my tires splatted through the mud, I felt ornery. Cliff and I got out of the car and I just too a deep breath to take in the smell of earth and grass and rain and it was BLISS. The wind in my face was totally refreshing (and freezing!!) and I put my arms out and spun around like some goof ball in a movie. I didn't want to leave.

but I got some great pictures.

It was a GOOD day. I hope there's more of these. But if there's not, anytime soon, at least I know that when these days are gone, they will come back. Makes the hard days easier if you know that the hard days are not forever.

Oh and P.S. I frosted some cookies yesterday with this cool piping kit that my friend gave me. Its easier to use than a piping bag and it actually WORKS. I hadn't frosted anything in...months. a real sign of dark times if there ever was one. LOL


Stay tuned as the metamorphosis continues...


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Obligatory Xmas Post

I feel somewhat obligated to do a Christmas-y post. Even though I don't feel slightly Christmas-y. and that should have been a comma there instead of a period. and I'm not going back to fix it. see how I am?

anyway, I really love Christmas but this year has just been so rough, it just seems like a sort of brutal ritual. I will muster a Happy Birthday Jesus in my heart but I haven't decorated beyond the bare minimum and I don't feel bad about it at all.

so here's my stolen/borrowed Christmas post. I borrowed this from Swistle, who I think borrowed it from someone else.

Eggnog or hot chocolate? I like eggnog but its too rich now that I'm old. Even diluted with milk. Hot chocolate is good too. I'm ambivalent.

Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree? Santa wraps ours, per our requests. Or sometimes if I have a special paper I want to use, I tell him that I'll wrap them. He laughs his jolly laugh over his cell phone and thanks me for my assistance. ;)

Colored lights on a tree or white? I usually do white. I had colored ones for a couple years. I like both. again. ambivalent. but I tend toward white.

Do you hang mistletoe? No.

When do you put your decorations up? Usually shortly after Thanksgiving. On enthusiastic years. I take that weekend after Thanksgiving and just go berzerk.

What is your favorite holiday dish? Can't say as though I have one. I like your generic turkey and ham stuff, and my mom's party potatoes recipe, which I now have but never make.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? sometimes we do one or 2 on Xmas Eve but mostly we do them all on xmas morning. If I did them all on Xmas Eve, I think Xmas day would feel so anti climactic and I'm not sure at all what we'd do all day. My family is scattered even though we all live in the same town. I really have always wanted to come up with some new traditions but have not been successful yet.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? This year or on a year when I care? On a year when I care it varies. I have a theme or a color and run with it. one year it was all purple and gold. last year we had 3 mini trees: one for mandy, one for cliff, one for us. Mandys' had a pink feather boa around it as garland. Cliff's had some fun garland. and mine was all fancy. the kids' trees had ornaments that were designated for them, bought by me for them (I buy one for them each year) or ones they made, and mine has fancy ones. so what I'm saying is, it varies based on my mood, the decor of my house, or where I am in my cycle. *shrug*

Snow: love it or hate it? We don't get snow here except once a decade. Its pretty, but I detest getting around in it. I don't like how cold my ears get. I hate walking in snow when we go to the mountains or whatever. so short answer: hate it. nice to look at out the window though.

Can you ice skate? Yes I probably COULD. we have good insurance coverage.

What is your favorite holiday dessert? again, not sure I have a favorite. I make a mean cheesecake, so that's probably my favorite if I have to name one. I feel obligated to say cupcakes. but no. frosted Xmas cookies though...similar to cupcakes in the decorating vein.

What is your favorite holiday tradition? sigh. need to re-get some. life has messed mine up.

Candy canes: yum or yuck? I like them. can't say I've ever craved one or anything...

wow, that was riveting, yes?

ho ho ho.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Words that Speak to Me

~Every soul is experiencing a window for change, change into a newer more real you. This window does not come along often, and to take advantage of it you need to forget the limiting words or 'realistic' advice given by others. You need to know your own song and follow it.

(Todd Savvas)

I am choosing, now, to know my own song, no matter where it might lead me or how many may question it being out of tune. I must go through this window because I know I am supposed to.
The kelly that woke up insists on it.

I dare you to find your own window in the coming year, and to follow your own song.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

When life gives you lemons, talk about defecation alot...

Decided the title of the book may just be "poop and lies". more on that later.

so there's a theme here. shitty year=lots of posts about crap.

6 year old boy+50 year old house=strong plunger arm.

Then Cliff announces upon leaving the bathroom "man, wiping sure is a lot of work".

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

poop and lies

I am working on the book. it will be a long time coming I'm sure. but I am committed to it now. I've put it "out there" so it will happen.
about the time I make progress I'll probably get a job and it'll all be thwarted. Course I said I'd get a job as soon as I liked staying at home and that didn't happen. pllfffft. who can figure!!?!

so anyway, random post. about poop. and lies. chapter title, right there, right?

so when Mandy has obviously pooped in her diaper I say "ooooweeee Mandy you stinky. do you have poopoo?" and she says "Noooo" with a big smile. and sometimes she says "mona poo poo" (that's the dog!). So I say "Oooooh...you lie" and I proceed to check her drawers and then go change her.

so in the car today, she has a baby doll (my baby doll from when i was a tiny girl, in fact, which is so sweet that THAT baby doll is still getting loved even with her horrid hair and everything) that she mothers when we are driving around. She puts her to sleep and other adorable things that little girls do that I am just being exposed to. So today she says "Poo poo baby? no. you liiiieeeee"

I almost wrecked the car. I laughed so hard. I had to share that.

hope you have a truthful and poopless day. well ok not poopless (Jay that's for you). but ya know...