Monday, November 1, 2010

Yep, still here

Still here, still looking for permanent employment. Its a bitch out there. It will be 2 years in March. 2 fucking years. Pardon my french, but sonofabitch! Yes I've had a job here and there but...ugh.

What I have learned is that fear...is indeed bullshit. I have had to face so many of my fears the last 2 years. I have been in, and am knee deep in, many of them now. They suck but...hey, I'm still here. I have survived.

Pardon me while I read that back to myself. Its been awhile since I blogged regularly, obviously, and I've forgotten how cathartic and therapeutic it is. Its so easy to get lost in discouragement, depression, hopelessness. I battle it off and on week in and week out. Re-reading that previous paragraph reminds me...I am ok. I have been OK. I will continue to be OK.

I will say that while I'm stronger and less afraid, I am FUCKING EXHAUSTED. I'm so ready for my life to settle down. Geeeeeez!!!!

So I leave you with this..."Love over Fear"...it works. Say it to yourself. Believe it. The fears you wrestle with about stability and material things and security and life in general...they are lies. God did not give us a spirit of fear. Its true.
I have lived it and felt it. Love over fear.

Stay tuned for updates. :)

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