Monday, February 14, 2011

Pity Party, Table for One...

oh goody. I bounced out of bed with a spring in my step and joy in my heart.

nooooo, cuz this is MY blog.

its just another day. no, wait, its not. Its not just another ordinary day. cuz I don't hate most days. I h.a.t.e this day. I hated it when I was married happily (?) and I hate it now.

(and here's a link to one of the blogs I follow with great glee. sums this all up nicely: )

If I had it my way, there would be a massacre on this day. Oh wait, there was. bravo!

Pity Party, table for one?

* yes, thank you. you know, I was never proposed to.
- awwwww
* in 12 years I think I got flowers enough to count on one hand. Even if I'm bitchily exaggerating, its not by much
- oh no.
* yes. and...he cheated on me
- should you be airing your dirty laundry here?
* listen bitch, whose soapbox is this?! hmmm?!
- ok ok. fine. cheese with your whine
* yes. please. cheese. cheese is good. you know one year I got an UNsigned birthday card
- really?
* yes. and. he wouldn't eat my cooking, which is stellar and I have references
- what? that's nuts.
* yes. yes it is. all of it.
- I'm so sorry
* yeah, me too. Can I get a table with a view please. a view of something other than canoodling couples
- ok. this table overlooks the cemetary
* perfect. white wine and cupcakes please.
- coming right up. for free.
* awesome. thanks.
- its the least we can do for your pathetic personage
* merci. I won't tip cuz I'm bitter.
- we expect that here.
* perfect. glad we had this chat.
- oui. I'm going to go rejoin the other voices now.
* ok. thanks.

I made these

and I was in Palm Springs over the weekend with my BFF. We shopped and drank wine and did absolutely next to nothing and it was perfect. So they have these amazing thrift stores in Palm Springs cuz I guess rich people give their stuff away and gay people manage fabulous stores full of the rich people's stuff. Seriously amazing prices. Brand new white leather couches...$300. No I don't want a white leather couch. But still...
and I DID find THE COUCH that I totally would have bought if I had been at home. perfect size, perfect shape, perfect color. OMG it was perfect. $250!!! UGH. I'm so mad. not fair!!!

so here's some pictures from the faaaaaab thift store. I just thought these were so clever.

I meet with a potential divorce attorney today. her office is NEXT DOOR to my former long time marriage counselor. Ironic much?? on this day no less...

*dry heave*

I'm gonna go throw up in my mouth a little.


  1. Those cupcakes are SO PRETTY. And it drives me nuts when I find something PERFECT but way too far away to bring home.

  2. Oh, he sounds like an asshole. I can not TELL you how wonderful it's going to be when you are over all this shit and meet the man you are meant to be with. Seriously.

  3. Kelly.... you are SO the best writer... I can see you saying all this! XOXO~Danella