Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Perfect Match

Its a sign.

My Match.com membership expired. So like they always do they use all sorts of ridiculous tactics to get you to join. They suddenly are pimping your profile out all over to the most desperate and responsive of assholes so all the sudden you have winks and emails and you can't see who they are from. Its a tactic that annoys me no end.

Well yesterday they sent me an email...that they had matched me...with...(wait for it...wait for it...)
ME.

Yes I'm not sure how they managed to make this magic happen but *I* am my perfect match. Is it any wonder? I'm hot, intelligent, sexy, playful, passionate, romantic...and broken. I'm perfect for me.

The first thing I will do with my new love, is discover all of my weaknesses. What do I like to eat? I will cook it for myself. What do I like to smell? I will wear that perfume. Frankly its working already because I am totally smitten with myself.

Next, I will set out to fix and change my self.

This is the greatest plan ever.

I highly recommend Match.com! I'm very sure me and myself are going to be very happy together!

2 comments:

  1. well, i guess that's better than being matched up with your cousin or your ex-fiance's brother.... oh wait. that would be me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ps. no tamponal gem this time. boo!

    ReplyDelete