Wednesday, February 29, 2012


So I know you will all be relieved to know I have a new car-dentity. I know you were concerned that my Honda was flitting about without knowing who it was.
Well, fret no more.

So...about 2 years ago when the separation happened, I put a decal, on my car, a hot pink heart shaped grenade. It was actually a symbol from a Green Day album, American Idiot, I think. But before I knew that, I had a dream about finding a heart shaped grenade in my bed. The dream itself was very vivid and the heart shaped grenade, now known as "the heart bomb" was heavy and cold and smoooth. I was kinda fascinated with it as a symbol. I found a heart bomb decal in hot pink and put it on my car. Around that same time, I got a keychain with the same symbol. It was metal and about 2-3" across. it wasn't smooth, but it had a great weight to it. My keychain needs no weight as its quite the mob of keys and everyone comments on how huge it is. But it just felt good in my hand and made finding my keys in my purse that much easier.

About a month ago, I looked at my keys and my heart bomb was gone. It had fallen off and the chain dangled on my keychain useless with a broken link. I was really bummed out.

But it occured to me that its probably time for me to put away the heart-bomb mascot. I don't feel nearly as explosive about love as I did then. I feel much more stable. My heart feels open, and not all wrapped up in barbed wire and full of shrapnel.

So I set upon finding a new mascot.

I have been thinking of a peacock tattoo for a long time. But the problem is that I don't know where to put a tattoo. meh.

so for what seemed like forever, I scoured the internet for a peacock decal. Believe it or not, it was not easy to find. I am the queen of finding stuff on the net! QUEEN!! so if one of you comments that you found one that's really cool at like Amazon, I'm gonna implode. :)
Anyway it took forever but I finally found one that worked for me. I really wanted one with the feathers down and kinda swoopy, but I found one with the feathers up in typical peacock fashion. Its pink. And its now on my car.

And I got a rainbow rhinesone keychain too. have to have the matching set, y'all. c'mon!!

Peacocks, in case you didn't know, carry some of the same symbolism and lore as the Phoenix. The phoenix, a mythical bird that is reborn over and over and rises from its own ashes, has always appealed to me. I am a resilient soul and have survived and reinvented a couple times so far. The phoenix is a beautiful symbol. But there is something about the peacock with its gorgeous display of color (yes I know the pretty ones are males. bite me!) and prancey look at me attitudes, coupled with the rebirth just screams ME.

I am reborn. a new woman. a new life. a new everything. I have a new outlook and a new future of my own making. and it feels beautiful and I feel like prancing! Look at my fancy reborn ass, people!! yes!!!

Ok well...something like that. *insert facial expression here*.

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