I was musing about "dating" with someone today...
The reason relationships are easy when you're 20 is because you are fearless. You see someone, you dig them, you fall in love, you fight about who spends more time at whose apartment and how the birthday card was wrong and then you have sex and get over it. Until you break up.
But you carry those things into your next relationship. And she wont spend weekends at his apartment. And he never buys her card for anything. And their theories and jaded points of view are validated.
And they break up.
Then they meet someone who blows their socks off. And despite their best efforts to remain guarded the walls crumble and they have a profound connection and deep relationship. And it is life changing. Until someone errs just too far and everyones hearts explode.
Theennnn they spend so long trying to re create that passion and connection they miss out on six other possible relationships because their bags are so packed with their expectations for how things Should be there is no room for a carry on of how things Could be.
And there we are in the singles airport full of 30 and 40 somethings who are desperate to get on a plane but they dont know how to check their bags and are afraid to try. Cuz what if the plane crashes? What if it ends up in the wrong place? What if there's an ungodly layover? Never thinking- what if I end up somewhere more amazing than I thought I would. Fear holds everyones walls in place.
Change is possible. Acceptance is necessary. Letting go of expectations is very difficult. Courage is rare. Loneliness is familiar.
So we wander around the singles airport like tom hanks in that movie where he is trapped there. Just living on familiar dysfuction and shallow communication because everyone is scared to death to repeat the past. And yet we all are.
I think I need a drink now.