Sunday, March 31, 2013

Choosing to believe

...cliff got up early (cant drag his ass out of bed during the week) to play xbox in peace. He was up at least 2 hours all alone and never noticed the Easter baskets that are on the same side of the room as he is.  So Mandy and I get up and I point out the baskets.  Happy Chaos ensues. Take the dogs out, I say. So they leash up the beasts and go out.  More chaos outside and they come bursting in babbling nonsense through chocolate filled mouths. "mom!!!! The Easter bunny left jelly beans all over the porch, and next door! HE'S REAL!!"

the porch sprinkling is a tradition I made up.  I personally leave behind glitter. Santa leaves cookie crumbs. (The tooth fairy is still a freaking no show cuz no one will ever lose teeth here) the leprechauns leave money (though they creep me out so I've not called them in a while)  and the EB leaves behind jelly beans.

I didn't know this would be the irrefutable proof that he's real. And my heart is so warmed because cliff is 9.  Hanging on to these beliefs is hard when 5 year olds are more sophisticated than we were in college.

Last night I was feeling blue for inspecific reasons and was texting with a friend, who then called me.  He was trying to get to the heart of my mood and made a few suggestions about taking care of myself.  Yes, I allowed someone to suggest something to me.  Phenomenal. But anyway.  We were talking about how we used to believe in fairy tale life and love.  And he said, you know what... believe anyway.  Just do it.
ok. I'm gonna.

 I'm gonna find the jelly beans in my life and choose to believe.

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