Sunday, December 28, 2008

Things About Me

that you may not know...

I always fall asleep on my right side. Even when I was pregnant and they tell you to sleep on your left side, I, ever the rebel, slept on my right side. But if I have to get up, or am stirred in any way, I have to change sides. And then if I have to get up or reach for something or whatever, I have to change sides again. I can NOT lay on the same side for 2 lay-downs in a row. I have no idea why but it sucks. Cuz I can get all comfy and cozy in one position and then have to get up and not be able to go back to that same position.

I have red hair because I started dying my hair to match my personality. I have been red since I graduated from high school and I've never looked back. I'm pretty sure God meant to make me a redhead. But I believe that out there somewhere is some calm, reserved, rule-loving redhead that should have been a blonde gemini, but she cut in line with the aquarius redheads and stole my hair color. Perhaps the idea that she cut in line sort of contradicts my theory. What a minute...whose blog is this anyway?!?! damn my tangents.

I love animals. In another life, I may have been, or may yet be, a Green Peace nut, or even a PETA person. In this life, I'm not that far to the left. But if bumper stickers didn't bother me so much, I probably would have a "save the whales" sticker. And I'm still considering boycotting KFC forever but I've not reached a consensus with my other personalities on that one yet...

I hate shoes and I love purses. I wear flip flops all year long and my purse is big enough to hold my baby.

There is art on almost every wall of my house that has a space. It is the first thing I do when I move into a new space, and the thing I love most when I redecorate a space. I love art. I can't make it, but I sure do appreciate it. I have a set of 3 tulips in reds and oranges on stretched canvas on the wall I am facing, a photo of an orange sunset over my fireplace (just an ordinary print in an ordinary frame. But the frame does have a story: when we moved in here, I needed a long skinny horizontal piece for over the mantle. It was the first thing I did in this house. I had an angel theme at the time and I found for like $8, a mythological themed print with cherubs tending to eros or ...hell Idanno. It had a woman's bare breast and some people did double takes. After my $8 print was framed and matted and whatnot, it was $150 piece of art. My theme changed so my sunset is sitting on top of my bare breasted mythological woman. damn my stories are long). In my dining room there is "ullswater" (also a sunset), a photograph, and an I-forget-the-name sunrise over rowboats painting (looked it up: "Pier at sunrise" by salvador caballero). And some artwork my little friend Noah K. did when he was like oh...4....of my dogs and cat in watercolor. In my bathroom is gustav klimt's "three ages of woman". In the hallway outside my bathroom is O'Keefe's "red cannas". In the bedroom I have some cheri blum-esque narcissus-esque and some lilac print. And another Kimt: "the Kiss".
In Amanda's room I have this one

and because it was bugging me, the aforementioned possibly Eros print is this one: The Awakening of Adonis by Waterhouse

I also love photography. As I get older, I am inclined to get back into it. I was never "good" at it, per se, and never had good equipment. But I have the eye. I've had no time to mess with it in the last few years but I want to. I especially love black and whites. Who doesn't love a black and white landscape, right? but I also love candid people shots in b&w. Maybe because I myself and the worlds worst candid I admire the beauty of true moments captured on film (my own true moments are always rather contorted!).

Enough about art

I wear totally mismatched pajamas. Tonight, for instance: brick red sweater-pants, a turquoise t shirt and an aqua sweater. In fact they are complimentary colors, but that's mostly an accident. I grab what's in the basket and put it on.

I take alot of baths.

I drink tea. And recently...with milk! how freakin' civilized huh? I love it!

My house, apart from being artful, is messy. My living room looks like a daycare center. But somehow it is not enough to entertain either of my extremely high-energy prodigies.

I love smells. If I smell Ban deoderant, I am immediately transported to my 13 year old self on a business trip in Hawaii with my parents. I am intoxicated by the smell of orange blossoms in spring.

I love decorating. I don't claim to be that fantastic at it, but I love doing it. I wish I had endless amounts of money to do nothing but make my nest pretty.

I fall down alot.

I love the colors red, purple, and green. I think red is in every room of my house somehow. Purple is in many. Orange has snuck its way in recently...that rogue non-rhyming rebel of a color!

I love poetry. ee cummings is my favorite for the last several years.

I watch too much TV.

I'm a choreographer (read: used to be a dancer but my ideas are so grandiose that even my former dancer self would not have been able to do most of them, so I find willing victims to impose my ideas upon and we create art together).
I have found recently that my choreography/teaching style is very much like directing. I can not create a dance without a story. This evolved several years ago and is an absolute necessity for my creative process now. I need a story. So I give my dancers characters, and stories and relationships.
I would love to be a movie director. I am fascinated...since I was a child...with the hows and whys of theater, TV, movies. I want to know - where did that lighting come from? How'd they do that? Was that an accident or the first take? Was that improvised? Was that sound dubbed back in? How did the actress summon tears?
Where is that filmed? What kind of cues is the stage manager calling during Les Miserables?
I work backstage at our dance recital sometimes as the stage manager and I love it. So much more, actually, than being in the spotlight at all.
So I want to be a director when I grow up.

I love water. I find myself pretty much in discord to some extent when I am not near water. When I am at the beach, suddenly my soul synchronizes with the universe and all is right. Why I am not there, I cant' really answer except to say that all members of my immediate family are trapped here in this town and none have successfully escaped. Somehow the family values of this damn desert seem to keep us here. Perhaps this is why I take so many baths...??

I love to feed ducks, and give homeless men sandwiches, and listen to my 1 year old daughter sing when she eats.

I can, now that I'm a mom, handle vomit, poop, clogged drains to some extent, all manner of bodily functions but I can not stand handling dirty dishes...especially is food-y water and the silverware most of all.

I almost gave birth to my daughter in the car, and the lobby of the hospital. We aren't having any more but I seriously wonder how fast it would come if we did!

I wish I could garden.

I have insomnia. I haven't slept properly since 2002.

I cried last time I took my son to the circus. No, it wasn't my phobia of clowns (consider that an entry). It was the overwhelming childhood magic. I don't know how else to describe it.

I love to cook. and bake. decorating cupcakes is so zen to me. I do it just for fun - not even because I want to eat them. And I love to try to reproduce sauces that I've tasted. I guess that makes me a "saucier". That also would make sense as to why I am obsessed with finding the perfect mac n cheese. and it goes with my saucy personality. doh.

I don't like groups of people. Not like agorophobia and fear of malls and whatnot. I just don't like being in a large group. I get really icky in my skin. I am much more inclined to open up and be happy and comfortable in a one-on-one situation, or a very small group of intimates. I do like large groups when I am in charge of them (the recital, for instance), but that is a rare treat. lol

I think birthdays are a big deal. I like to stretch the celebration of them out for about a week.

I want to go sky diving. When my son, just 5, discovered that such a thing existed recently, he said he wanted to go. I said I did too. So when he turns 18, if I can still walk and get in a plane, he and I will go together!

off to take my bath and go to bed too late now. ta-ta!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Great Day! husband got a really big, wonderful promotion at work and I am beside myself with pride, happiness for him, our family, and just life in general.

Also, my friends whose little boy Ryan is being treated for leukemia (diagnosed a couple weeks before Thanksgiving) got good news today...their daughter, Ryan's twin sister, is a perfect bone marrow match for him!

God has been busy answering "Dear God" letters!!! The mailbox is full of great news!

Things perked up marginally at work today too. I got alot done.

My heart is full and happy and I'm ready to be full of the Christmas spirit!! (I was before but I really am now!)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

With a Joyful Sigh...

this day comes to a close. We celebrated my son's 5th birthday tonight at "pump it up" with 25 of his friends and their parents. It was complete pandemonium. I had to keep looking around to see who had my baby and to check on the couple of kids whose parent's had to leave. It was total, fantastic, fun chaos. I'm getting kind of choked up. It was just a great day.

Cliff was of course chomping at the bit all day. When I made the reservation at PIU I wanted a mid day time but they were taken. So I thought about it and we chose 4:45pm. It actually was really cool cuz all the kids go home fed, wound up, cake filled, fall asleep from the fairly long (f0r Bakersfield) drive home (I saw a couple moms get the blankets out of the trunk for the drive), and either go to bed or go home and take a bath and what not.

Cliff's friends just adore him. He's a cocky little shit and he's totally ornery but loveable and huggy an sweet too. I swear I had 5 conversations with moms that I only know in passing who told me that their daughter talks about cliff ALL the time!! and that she is going to marry Cliff. Its odd to know he's the topic of so many conversations and I wonder what he does to merit this kind of attention. All I ever see him do is run around and make faces and talk is silly voices and do flips and then hug some one cuz he accidentally kicked them and then make more silly faces and then jump off a table inappropriately of course and then quote some movies and do some silly dance moves. That doesn't seem that suave to me. I'm trying to think back to when I was 5. I guess we all did kinda like the obnoxious boys. The squeaky wheel gets the girl...?

Anyway, his friends are just so cute and for me, as a mother, it was just a beautiful day.

His bestest friend Jenelle is spending the night and I just checked on them (I thought they'd never go to sleep!!) and they fell asleep holding hands!! I could die. How precious is that?
I have a picture of them holding hands on a hayride at Halloween too. A few more of those and I'll make a hand holding cute.

It was a pricey birthday but worth it. We didn't have to clean up, we didn't have to do anything except enjoy our boy.

and I got to go down the giant slide with 2 of my best friends. I felt 5 again. Well, 5 with a fat ass which has a great deal of momentum and made us go reallllly fast. woooooooo.

His real birthday is December 17th and I, like most moms, will spend that day verclempt as I think of the day that God helped me bring him into this world and all the details of his birth and his precious infanthood and tiny baby cry all the way up to his first words, and when he first started becoming the rock star/movie star he is today. My boy...Cliffy Depp.

If he does become a rock star, which this week he says he wants to, I hope he can be of the Bono variety and not so much the Axl Rose variety. Kid Rock with fewer drugs would be OK.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008


When I was pregnant with Amanda, I was on a quest for the best mac n cheese. I still am. Last Thanksgiving, I made what I called "million dollar mac n cheese". It called for like 8 different kinds of cheeses including white cheddar, Gruyere, and some other fancy cheeses and they are pricey! The recipe had like 10 eggs in it! It was really good. Alot of work though. And it came out a bit dry.
Then I tried a couple others. I borrowed recipes from friends and friends of friends. They were all just OK.
I debated the method: baked, bechemel, eggs, roux...all the methods. None of them were quite right to this day.
I am a bit stressed and I think that's why I am craving mac n cheese now. In an act of desperation, I ate a box of Kraft...the ordinary blue box.


Today I tried the Kraft with the creamy sauce in the pouch.


Next I will try the Velveeta kind again. I expect it to be vile as well.

I do have one recipe that is pretty close to excellently yummy. I will be making it soon.

I am just officially old. First ding dongs. Now mac n cheese. Its depressing.

In other news...Pixos...are evil. Its the stupidest toy EVER. My son has been begging for some for months. He'll see the commercial and go "Mom! I want those" blah blah blah and then "But you have to be 18 or older to call." I finally gave in at Target yesterday. We got it home and tried it and its SO incredibly stupid!! lame. They don't stick. Its just ridiculous. The commercial shows like freakin 3d trucks and animals and shit. I couldn't even make a simple triangle. really. I wanted to throw them away.

I was less grouchy than the other day when I posted about my crappy day. But today put me back in a pissy mood. Seriously everything that could have gone wrong in a technical way (printers, faxes, email, technical issues at work, seriously irritating problems with Words Mail Merge!!) did. Everything. I should read my horoscope for today. I'm pretty sure its going to say that the world is coming to an end, or a meteor is headed toward earth, or I should crawl in a hole and not exit until Xmas.


Sunday, December 7, 2008


I am in the worst mood today, for no good reason.
The dogs will NOT shut up. Cliff can not seem to be able to walk through the house...EVER. And we have hard wood floors so it echoes and drives me nuts. Amanda is ornery and she's only 10 months old. I was telling her "no" about something and she ignored me. I clapped loudly and said "NO" and she looked at me. I got down and got close-ish to her and said in a deep voice with a really mean face "Nooo" you know what she did? the cutest f'ing baby laugh.

So I called my mom and said "I need to know exactly what the specs were on the wish you made when I was a know that deal that all mothers of teenagers make with God about them having a kid just like them or something? I need to know the details...cuz my kids are evil!"

Then Cliff started jumping around from one foot to the other singing a song about "we're not evil, no we're not!"

So my mom's answer "They've got your number, that's what's up".

Really? REALLY?!?! How does a 10 month old have my "number" when I've never disciplined her for any reason and she can't possibly know that I'm a sucky authoritarian, I'm inconsistent, and I'm a sap! How can she freakin' know that, MOM?!

Then I'm working on my damn Xmas card labels. First of all, its the first time I have ever sent out the family photo for our Xmas cards. We are never all in any picture. Amanda is too wiggly to cooperate with family pictures. But we have a few that my friend took at Halloween. It looked good to me but I am positively obsessed with one detail of it now, and I now hate them. But anyway, the labels... so I have a freakin' spreadsheet of addresses. Its like organized and shit. I do a mail merge. Mail merge used to be easy. its all screwed up. So the mail merge pissed me off too.

Then on facebook, one of my friends status lines was something about how we have a "moral obligation to our family to be happy" and I swear that quote just about sent me over the edge. So here I am on the soapbox. Moral obligation. pffffflllttttt!

I just feel like I'm going to come out of my skin. I ate chicken curry at a party last night. I think the curry poisoned my Chi. Does chocolate detox chi? My freakin chi is in need of a bubble bath!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

$30 socks?

Ok these socks are incredibly cute but could anyone really bring themselves to buy 6 pair of toddler socks for $27.95??

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Christmas Shopping

Here is a tip from an expert internet shopper: DO IT.

Why waste your gas, fight with rude people, and take time away from your family (unless you like those things) when you can find EVERYTHING you want online?

Seriously, if someone makes it and its sold online, I can find it. If you are looking for something specific and need help finding it, let me know. I have been a bit of a personal shopper for more than a few friends. I would be happy to help you spend your money...I mean, its my duty as an American to support our economy and to encourage you to as well...right? LOL has the best customer service and in like 10 years I don't think they have screwed up a single order for me. You can find absolutely everything there. And while you're looking you will often find other ideas and inspirations. has fantastic shipping rates, often free.
Ebay has everything and you don't have to bid on it...look for "buy it now"

I highly recommend setting up a PayPal account if you do not have one. It'll take a day or 2 to confirm bank accounts but its SO worth it and totally secure!!! Many online merchants now accept PayPal and in ensures that the seller does not see any info from the buyer other than shipping info. The money shows up in the seller's account and they never see the source because PayPal is the intermediary. Its great!

And here's what I would really like you to do: donate.
Look, most of us have everything. But many people out there do not. Why trade money with your family when you can actually make a difference for someone? or
(Purchase a "good card" which works like any other gift give the card and your recipient gets to decide what charity to use it for. How cool is that?! ) - if you're shopping for someone who has everything, you can find some cool stuff here - get your family to set aside $50 or $100 of what they would have spent on each other and buy a goat or a flock of ducks for a family trying to sustain itself in Africa and other developing countries. Or buy school supplies for a child. Or medical supplies. Or water,which we so take for granted here, for a whole village)

So! NOW. Get it in time for Xmas! And sit on your couch while you do it! woohoo!

The "Be Less of an Asshole" movement

today's challenge, after you succeed in parking politely and moving your cart to the cart return etc...

smile at rude, clueless people who try to run you over in Walmart and Target. Just smile when they stand in your way, completely oblivious to your existence.

Smile smile smile.

Monday, December 1, 2008

For your shopping...amusement?

You must check out this link to a collection of make up brushes on ebay...for $888. The brushes are Japanese, and based on the price must be very coveted. I'm pretty into beauty stuff but I don't get it. Furthermore, PETA be notified...they are squirrel hair.
makes me want to rub them all over MY face. YOU?
$888 for squirrel? WTF?